Bad Habits

   Sometimes I feel like a living breathing train wreck, but sometimes I feel like I'm just a giant poser. I supposedly have all these problems with my brain, but then I see so many other people struggling a lot more with their shit, and it makes me feel terrible. I feel like I'm making excuses for being a bad person.
   Today I made myself a bag of popcorn and was doing just fine. But then my brother came bumbling in and just dug his hand into the bag, touched every piece, and took a fistful. I mean, that's his thing, he acts obnoxious but it's not like his goal is to honestly bother people. He just wants to annoy you a little. Trademark brother personality. No, trademark sibling personality. But it really did bother me. I couldn't eat any more popcorn. I just put it in the fridge when I was sure he was done with it.
   My compulsions have always been weird. They're sporadic, and they are triggered by weird things. Some people I'm completely fine around, but others can unintentionally drive me nuts in less than a minute. And it makes me feel awful because some of these things that I have to do to counter whatever somebody else just did, they aren't very flattering or polite or discreet. Another thing, they change. It seems like they take shifts. One day I can't touch doors, another I have to tap the sink faucet about forty times. The one thing that's been consistent though, is that whenever my AP Euro teacher passes around something for us to look at (he travels a lot so he enjoys sharing his souvenirs), I can not touch it. Under absolutely no circumstance can I touch it ever. It doesn't matter what it is or where it came from, I just can't do it.
   Help.
   I seriously cannot wait until I can take care of myself, and then I can go and get cat scans and be psychologically analysed to my heart's content.